Have you ever questioned who you are? If you have worth? Does this mean you despise yourself? Do you feel like you despise yourself?
I often find myself in a struggle with how I see myself. My self view is for the most part not a positive one. I often find it a struggle to see myself the way others tell me they do and especially the way I am told that God sees me. I don't feel like I hate myself, I just don't like who I see myself being. There is much of what I see that is not what I want it to be and what I believe God wants it to be. But does this mean I despise myself?
A passage from Jeremiah stood out to me today as I was reading. God is speaking to Jeremiah about how the Jews viewed themselves not as the single nation of Israel but as two nations (Israel and Judah). God sees them as one nation, one people, His chosen people – the Jews.
Jeremiah 33:24
Have you not noticed that these people [the Jews] are saying, The Lord has cast off the two families [Israel and Judah] which He chose? Thus My people have despised [themselves in relation to God as His covenant people], so that they are no more a nation in their [own] sight.
God says to Jeremiah that my people who I have chosen as a nation and called to be my people hate or despise themselves. What is his criteria for saying they despise themselves? The fact that they see themselves not as God sees them, as God puts it, means they despise themselves.
How often do you see yourself as God sees you? How often do you chose to see yourself differently? I sadly have to answer that I find myself with a larger number to the later question. How do I change this? In the words of Johnny 5 “Need input”.
I need to input into my life. Things that build in me the image of how God sees me. So where do I find these inputs? I have thought and struggled through this question a lot over the years. The hard part is that often the answers seem so cliche and simple.
How did God try to get the Jews to see themselves as he did? This is not an exhaustive list of all the things he did. But when I evaluate the answers I have been given over my lifetime and combine that with what I have read about how God interacted with the Jews I have come up with the following observations:
1)God's Word (The Bible, The Holy Scriptures) – The Jews didn't have a bible like we have today. A lot of what we see in a written form was being spoken and written as the Jews lived through it. God used the ceremony, festivals and sacrifices led by the priests as one way to remind the Jews of what he had spoken and done for them. Another key component for the Jews receiving God's word was the Prophets. Today we have been given most of what the Jews had in a concise written format we call The Bible.
1 John 5:1
EVERYONE WHO believes (adheres to, trusts, and relies on the fact) that Jesus is the Christ (the Messiah) is a born-again child of God; and everyone who loves the Father also loves the one born of Him (His offspring).
2)Creation – All of creation was designed to speak to us about God. His power, divinity, creativity, beauty and love. The earth wasn't created for the angels, the animals or the plants. We see it was created for us as people.
Psalm 104: 14-15
14He makes grass grow for the cattle,
and plants for people to cultivate—
bringing forth food from the earth:
15 wine that gladdens human hearts,
oil to make their faces shine,
and bread that sustains their hearts.
3)People – People are a part of the creation so I could have generalized it there and people were used by God in delivering His word. But I think the significance goes beyond just being a part of creation or a means of delivery. God made people with specific purposes, desires and needs. People where created to be with each other, to be together, to share experiences and to communicate. Another way to say this is people were created to be in relationships (“It is not good for man to be alone.” Gen 2:18). These relationships and the people in them are a significant part of the development of our views.
Romans 12:4-5
4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
4)Place of Worship (The Temple, Synagogs, The Church) – Having a place where we participate in learning and teaching of the word. A place where we actively participate in worshiping God through ceremony, posture and words (hymns, songs, creeds, poems). This is the place where people are relating with other people and with God.
Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
God has been doing many things in my life. He is revealing to me much about who I am and who I think I am. He has placed me in a Church which has been teaching me, spurring me on and building me up in my faith. I have been blessed with friends who are loving on us and speaking into our lives. God has been giving me a lot of input.
Sometimes it is easy to receive and believe the input. But there are times, which are more frequent than I would like to admit, where deep inside I stop seeing and hearing what the input has told me. In those moments I fall prey to the thoughts, the feelings, the past fears and failures. My heart and my mind get weighed down and life is hard to live out Joy and peace seem all but a glimpse and hope is hard to find. In those times I find myself drawing inward and pulling away from all the things that would fight against my darkness. I know I need to reach out. I know I need input, but it is hard to do.
I am learning and growing. Even in that place of darkness and despair, God is reaching me. Someday soon I hope to say that those moments are few and far apart. Until that day comes I pray that everyone who reads this post will lift me up in prayer and support and that God will continue to let me know who He is and who I am in Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment